Waking Up and Letting Go

I have been a quiet little blogger for the past few days – my mind has been all over the place so I needed a break from the world of electronics for a bit. Don’t worry, you’ll hear about it, well not quite all of it but the important parts of it anyway. As a lot of you already know I’ve gone through some heavy-duty issues for long time now, but in all honesty you don’t even know the half of it, trust me! I’m not here tonight to write some long drawn out post, just to talk about one quick thing…letting-go…

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Sick and tired of having your feelings discounted: 5 ways to survive that emotional attack…

“How can someone tell you what rain feels like falling on your skin? How can he truly know how it feels to be in the skin you’re in? How can someone see through my eyes? I know for sure when one person believes that he/she knows exactly what someone else is feeling all the time, that know-it-all attitude becomes intrusive and destructive to the person on the receiving end. How many times have you wanted to say let me be in my skin and I’ll let you stay in your skin – so we both can win?” -Dr. CJ

 

Thank you Dr. CJ, for helping me understand that I’m not imagining things when I believe my feelings are being discounted or dismissed. I’d like to print this out and hand it to at least dozen people but for now I’ll just share it on my page. Your wisdom and advice have soaked in and I will be back to read more!

 

This is a follow up to my post “Why I Have Hidden Emotional Pain – (Which Doesn’t Happen Very Often BTW)”

 

Thank you again for your insight!

Doctor C J's Blog

Before we get into the five ways to survive and eventually thrive, we need to look at what is at play in the interactions that tire us out.

Love is a universal emotion we as humans crave. We all need to be loved, heard, and understood. When we experience those three needs fully we feel safe, appreciated, and accepted. Have you noticed how you gravitate toward those people who become your safety net, who values who we are?

Are you tired of trying to explain to someone especially your mate how you feel about something, only to be told, “That’s not how it really is”? Are you tired of asking someone to explain what they mean to only hear, “never mind”? Do you want to scream shut the…. Up and listen?

Dismissing and discounting what we feel starts with a disconnect between the two people trying to communicate. Often times…

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Why I Have Hidden Emotional Pain – (Which Doesn’t Happen Very Often BTW)

Why have I hidden emotional pain?  Let me explain…

I have always been a person who FEELS DEEPLY and talks about EVERYTHING!  Psychologists say it is NOT good to hold things in;  you need to talk about them, resolve them, get through them, get past them, FEEL THEM!  Unfortunately that does NOT work for all of us!  I’m not disagreeing by any means, just simply saying that sometimes hiding emotional pain prevents us from experiencing further emotional pain from something, or someone, other than the original source of the emotional pain to begin with.  Are you getting me here?  All I’m saying is that sometimes it is just easier to hold-it-all-in because a lot of the time spilling-our-guts makes us feel embarrassed, ashamed, criticized, judged, etc…Like I said, I don’t usually do this, (hide emotional pain that is), but in the past year I have done so because some people, (including acquaintances, friends, family, lovers, and enemies), criticize, judge, minimize, and discount my feelings making me feel even worse than I did to begin with!  I’ve isolated, secluded, and spent days and days alone not speaking to anyone because of the fact that I feel I’m so misunderstood, judged, and people don’t want to hear about my problems and/or feelings.  On the other hand, I’ve talked and talked and talked and talked to the point of exhaustion and that doesn’t seem to get me anywhere either!  Sometimes I feel that talking about my feelings is a NO WIN situation, I’ve been totally stressed-out by holding things in, AND by talking about them!  What’s a girl to do?  All I can say is that I am ME and I have a right to FEEL whatever I want and whenever I want whether I share it with someone else or hold it in deep down inside, period.

” It’s absolutely key that we not so much grow a thicker skin (though this might definitely help!) but become determined and resolute enough to hold our emotional ground–confident that we have within us what can make it safe to express hurtful feelings. For (1) they’re an essential part of who we are, (2) letting them out really can’t victimize us unless we let ourselves be at the effect of another’s reactions, and (3) we’re now able to regard our feelings as valid, independent of anyone else’s response.” Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D.

“Everyone FEELS differently, so don’t judge someone for experiencing emotional pain that may seem ridiculous and/or a waste of energy to you.” -Angela Brigano

I came across two articles that I am going to share today.   Continue reading

The Wounded Healer

Very insightful!

Life Coaching with Diana: Empower and Transform

As someone who works in the field of Psychology, I think that it is so important to find a therapist, counselor, life coach that can really resonate with you. I do not feel that any amount of education compares to life experiences.

Who better to understand and help you through your challenges then someone who has gone through it themselves. There are so many factors to consider when helping people but the most important one is to have compassion. Compassion comes from having to have lived it yourself and then overcoming it. A person could have gone through a similar situation but if they have not healed from it, they have not reached compassion.

I remember a client who was getting over a broken heart. She decided to stay with her sister instead of going back home with her mother where she lived. After a week, the sister could not…

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Lessons to Learn and Live By | The Awakening – (Author Unknown)

The Awakening – (Author Unknown)

I came across this online and I love it!  This explains, in detail, many of the lessons that I have recently learned myself.  I’ve highlighted the important points, the points that stand out to me as important that is.  This is an excellent follow-up to my recent blog about forgiveness.  Read, learn, live and love!  xoxo Angela

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Forgiveness: Why You Should Forgive the Person You Hate the Most

Forgiveness…

allows us to take responsibility for our own happiness.

allows us to see everyone in our lives as a teacher

helps us stop playing the victim card.

makes us aware that most people are doing the best they can.

embodies the concept of “what goes around comes around.”

forces our own level of consciousness to expand.

teaches us to keep our expectations tempered.

teaches us to tone down our instincts for self-preservation.

creates a space to let go and love.

is the best revenge.

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