Why have I hidden emotional pain? Let me explain…
I have always been a person who FEELS DEEPLY and talks about EVERYTHING! Psychologists say it is NOT good to hold things in; you need to talk about them, resolve them, get through them, get past them, FEEL THEM! Unfortunately that does NOT work for all of us! I’m not disagreeing by any means, just simply saying that sometimes hiding emotional pain prevents us from experiencing further emotional pain from something, or someone, other than the original source of the emotional pain to begin with. Are you getting me here? All I’m saying is that sometimes it is just easier to hold-it-all-in because a lot of the time spilling-our-guts makes us feel embarrassed, ashamed, criticized, judged, etc…Like I said, I don’t usually do this, (hide emotional pain that is), but in the past year I have done so because some people, (including acquaintances, friends, family, lovers, and enemies), criticize, judge, minimize, and discount my feelings making me feel even worse than I did to begin with! I’ve isolated, secluded, and spent days and days alone not speaking to anyone because of the fact that I feel I’m so misunderstood, judged, and people don’t want to hear about my problems and/or feelings. On the other hand, I’ve talked and talked and talked and talked to the point of exhaustion and that doesn’t seem to get me anywhere either! Sometimes I feel that talking about my feelings is a NO WIN situation, I’ve been totally stressed-out by holding things in, AND by talking about them! What’s a girl to do? All I can say is that I am ME and I have a right to FEEL whatever I want and whenever I want whether I share it with someone else or hold it in deep down inside, period.
” It’s absolutely key that we not so much grow a thicker skin (though this might definitely help!) but become determined and resolute enough to hold our emotional ground–confident that we have within us what can make it safe to express hurtful feelings. For (1) they’re an essential part of who we are, (2) letting them out really can’t victimize us unless we let ourselves be at the effect of another’s reactions, and (3) we’re now able to regard our feelings as valid, independent of anyone else’s response.” –Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D.
“Everyone FEELS differently, so don’t judge someone for experiencing emotional pain that may seem ridiculous and/or a waste of energy to you.” -Angela Brigano
I came across two articles that I am going to share today. Continue reading